I have this problem at work.
Its my own damn fault, my own damn creation, and 90% of it is just the machinations of my own damn sleep-deprived mind.
I dont follow through on shit all the time. Someone will call in and ask for something weird. Then I’m like “I dont know I need to ask $_person about your weird f*cking request” and then I’ll often walk to his or her office, see that they’re not in, and say “k i’ll talk to them tomorrow”
Thing is, I always forget to do that.
And that’s almost never a problem, because I don’t take off work. So when these neglected and rightfully PO’d people call back, I catch the call, calm them down, and deal with the problem.
In the rare case that I’m too sick to come to work (because I rarely take off otherwise), things can get sour quickly. I start stressing like crazy until I get back into the office. I had a wonderful weekend recently. A nice 5 day setup punctuated by bronchitis in which I spent 4 days or so just sleeping trying to shake the (completely overblown) fear and sick sinking feelings about being a ‘bad worker’ – whatever the hell that is.
Because I never look at the long-term, the effective result of this is that I cant and don’t ever take vacation and I become this angry, dark, hollow shell of a man. The long term solution would be to just to follow through on things, or just as easily, email these $_people and let them handle it. But the short term solution is just to never take off work and worry all the time.
I’m my own worst enemy in this regard and I don’t know why.
But now I know. And Knowing is half the battle.
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